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“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate!” Carl Gustav Jung

WOULD YOU HIRE YOU AS A LEADER?
A few days ago I was watching Dr. Edith Eva Eger on surviving Auschwitz in various videos und how experiencing something bad can be turned into a positive learning lesson. During one
presentation Edith asked her audience an interesting question: “Would you like to be married to yourself?” In other words by being truly honest with our inner being and admitting to our strengths, weaknesses, emotional state, how we react and respond in challenging and good times, whether we would still decide to marry the exact person we are. This self-reflection made me think and relate it to leadership development.

Would you hire you as a leader of your organization and /or your team knowing honestly yourself as you are?

The point of this question is to know how we perceive ourselves deep inside of us and how feel about our competencies and potential we have. The ultimate feeling how you see you and feel about you determines how others perceive you in your life – privately and professionally and that will manifest in your results in your life. Are there any aspects of you that you could improve or possibly accept? Time and again when I speak with successful leaders I am reminded that one of their greatest strengths is their devotion to regular self-reflection.

Their courage to face the truth about their thoughts, expressions, decisions and actions, plus their desire to always improve themselves leads directly to their higher performance, self-confidence and happiness.

LIST OF DAILY SELF-REFLECTION QUESTIONS YOU CAN ASK YOURSELF:
It’s helpful to record these in your private leader’s journal or record them on a phone:
o What have I achieved today?
o What did I do today that didn’t work?
o What should I do about that?
o Where did I model our values today that could be noticed by others?
o Who do I need to spend more time with?
o What have I done today to remind us of our vision and purpose?
o What have I avoided today?
o Why did I avoid them?
o What do I need to improve in my leadership?
o What one big thing can I influence, so that a major improvement will take place?
o Have I demonstrated today that I value and care for our people?
o What would I do if I knew I could not fail?

Remember, what you focus on grows. Where attention goes, energy flows and matter grows. This is the universal law.

IF YOU WANT TO REACH A GOAL, YOU MUST “SEE THE REACHING” IN YOUR OWN MIND BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY ARRIVE AT YOUR GOAL. Zig Zigl

If you take a look around you, you will see that everything was first an image or a thought – an idea in a human mind – it came out of consciousness. Your human mind is constantly using its power – visualization in order to create future experiences. This process happens so naturally that you generally aren’t even aware of it, the same way you usually aren’t aware of your breathing. Only if you are conscious of it then you are actively and purposely directing your thought process towards that you want. YOU THINK – ENVISION ON PURPOSE.

The more details you put in your visualization the more real it will seem, and the more it will increase your performance and the chance of getting what you want. This is by developing neural connections in your brain that result from the repeated visual image. The trick is to imagine the specific situation in as many details as possible using all your senses – you can see it, smell it, hear it, feel it and taste it. For many people, it helps when they close their eyes, and then there are others who prefer to write it all down instead of doing it purely in their mind.

DID YOU KNOW? Your mind cannot tell the difference between your memory/actual experience and your envisioned situation. Meditation is one of ways to calm & clear your mind in order to move towards a desired outcome. If you are new to meditation, there are many meditations e.g. on YouTube to choose from. I’ve recognized the power of meditation and I use it at the start of coaching sessions with my clients, on a phone or in person.

Writing (daily) affirmations helps your mind to get into the future mode too. Write affirmations in present tense, and be careful not to write too many. Always do an emotional check on how your statements feel to you. If they feel unreal, in other words you don’t believe them because your analytical mind rejects them, then you need to calibrate – go a bit more general for your mind to accept them.

Another way of visualizing your future is to create a vision board. A vision board is future possibilities in pictures, words or symbols, where you’re headed. A vision board should represent your life, your work at its greatest potential. As a leader give your people permission to have fun with creating it. Let them know, “We’re doing something fun and different that’s going to benefit all of us.” It’s much better when it’s collaborative as you (can) create together.

* Put the finished vision board in a prominent place e.g. in your office or apartment so that you are regularly reminded of it. It will influence the way you and your people think – and consequently also behave.

Winning Mindset of a Formula Driver Converted to Leadership

“I WANT TO ACHIEVE UNACHIEVABLE” — AYRTON SIMMONS

Last year I was contacted by the agency representing Ayrton
Simmons for a potential collaboration. Before getting to know
him, I read online articles about his awards and achievements and
watched YouTube videos from his formula racing series. However,
only when I got to speak to him I realized: he was unconscious
competent when it comes to his mindset.
Throughout my career I met only people who were gradually
working towards their goals by learning about their mindset,
upgrading it and gaining knowledge & experience in their field of
expertise. Ayrton is different. His set of automatic thoughts and
beliefs told me he’s got a naturally formed winning mindset. As a
18 year old guy, born in the UK, he is passionate about winning
and his achievements as a formula driver. And despite his
successes, Ayrton is grounded and determined to get to and win at
Formula 1 .

And Ayrton is continuously growing his mindset.
He is so open to learning new things, perspectives and getting
better as a person & formula driver. But what truly amazes me
about him is his endless intention to enjoy himself and
holding on the feeling of success while racing.
You might ask: what is so great about that? And how is it related
to leadership & success? Here comes the answer…

There are many psychologists, researchers and high
performance coaches who claim that if there is one simple secret
to the operation of our unconscious /subconscious mind (some
call it success mechanism) is to call up, capture, evoke the
feeling of joy and success. Because when we feel good,
successful and self-confident, we act successfully. This
feeling sets our internal autopilot to be set for success. And Ayrton
is the living proof of it, he has been doing it without knowing it.

Have you ever received feedback during your last performance review or when you moved to your new senior leadership role that you “need to be more strategic,”? Then you know how frustrating it can feel especially, when you are given the definition of a word by using the same word. It just isn’t helpful.

I recall one of my first coaching clients who came to me with her goals – one defined as being more strategic rather than reactive in her new executive role. As a Vice President, heading up operations of several countries, she asked me to help her to become a strategic leader.

In order to help Laura with her goal, I chose to pinpoint and question several areas of her development such as making and committing to her actual thinking time, building up her network, researching and learning about the trends within and outside of the organisation etc.

However, despite the fact that this methodology appeared to be as an effective method at first, looking back I understand now that this type of methodology does not always necessary leave a long lasting positive effect in the human behavior. Basically I was working on changing her behaviour prior changing her automatic thoughts in her mindset. Often the feedback during our sessions was: I don’t have time for this, I just have so much work, I am super busy etc.

Here is a guidance based on my knowledge and experience on how you can become more strategic in your new or current role in the long run.

1. Start by changing your perception. If you believe that strategic thinking is only for senior executives such as CEOs, CIOs or CFOs etc., think again. It is not and it should be part of any leadership role. More you become strategic, more opportunities for yourself and your organization you will recognize and be able to predict. But what does it really mean to be a strategic thinker? Strategic planning in particular deals with the mission and purpose of the organization, its value proposition, i.e., what value the organization delivers to its customers, as well as the organisation’s future direction and growth.  
2. That is why it is so important to keep your organisational mission and vision in the back of your mind, as it inspires you to learn more, do more and move outside of your comfort zone in order to accomplish this mission and vision.
3. Concentrate on what you want and why you want it. Strategic refers to “what” and “why” the business or leader chooses to do something rather than “how” they plan to accomplish it. During my coaching sessions with Laura we were working to figure out “HOW”. Nowadays I work more strategically as well. Apart from discussing the options of becoming a strategic thinker and strategic leader, together with my client we programm the end goal in his/her subconscious mind and let the client’s mind figure out the HOW itself. This methodology leaves a lasting positive change as it changes the programming of the client’s mind.
4. Work on your self – awareness with a leadership & executive coach. Become aware of your unconcsious thoughts and beliefs. Ask your coach to help you with removing your unconscious bias (limiting beliefs and inner blocks) holding you back to become more strategic.

When we know that our results are deriving from our habitual behaviors and our actions are caused by our thoughs and feelings, then programming our new mindset with NEW STRATEGIC THOUGHTS eventually bears strategic actions. What are some examples of such strategic thinking and strategic beliefs?

• My focus as a leader is on how to uniquely deliver more value to the customers of my organization and get my organization to win at the market.
• I embrace external trends with a strong bias toward action and a desire to avoid getting weighed down by processes.
• Where competitors may see constraints, I seek opportunities for my organization
• I question unquestioned market beliefs as well as organizational assumptions
• And more…

You might be asking, is that it? All I have to do is to integrate these sentences into my (subconscious) mind on autopilot and I will become a strategic thinker or strategic leader?

YES! If these thoughts become a part of who you are (your very deep inner mind), naturally with a little effort you will start to :

• research market / industry trends,
• learn about terms and methodologies that are crucial for strategic thinkers,
• how to recognize and seek patterns in multiple sources of data or
• how to reframe problems to get to the root causes, and challenge unconscious beliefs about the market.

These behaviours and many others will become a part of your regular working habits, because your behaviour will be triggered by your new beliefs (strategic thoughts) on autopilot.

How quickly will it happen? This depends on your  current “programming” you are presently as a leader operating from. How knowledgeable and experienced you already are as well as what unconscious bias you hold, will be either contributing to – or delaying your new strategic mindset. That is why it is so important to work with a Coach.

Think of it as a tree, which grows by its seed being planted in the soil. This seed initially grows roots. These roots are like all terms, information, data, networks and skills you need to learn and have in order to become strong and stable. In other words, the tree can eventually grow above the surface and bear fruits (making strategic decisions, actions and changes).

If you are interested in knowing more and becoming a strategic thinker and strategic leader, please contact me on info@be-the-leader-within.com

While your IQ may have helped you to get to your current leadership role, it is your emotional intelligence that will get you promoted again and recognised for your ability to develop your team or organisation to a high performing one.

The good news? While we all must play the IQ cards we are dealt, Emotional Intelligence can be improved. There are many definitions and interpretations of Emotional Intelligence (EI). The basis of all definitions though is that it is related to human emotions and recognising their effect on human behaviors. The focus of this article is based on the American psychologist Daniel Goleman, who helped to popularize emotional intelligence in the corporate world and found the direct connection between the high performing leaders & teams and their high scores of Emotional Intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, and those of the people around you. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence know what they’re feeling, what their emotions mean, and how these emotions can affect other people. It is a choice and a discipline, which is required for truly outstanding performance. In the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves explain:

• There is no known connection between Emotional Intelligence and IQ
  

• Emotional Intelligence (EI) can be learned

• EI accounts for 58% of performance in all types of jobs

• 90% of high performers are also high in EI , while only 20% of low performers are high in EI

• The link between EI & earnings is so direct that every point increase in EI adds $1300 to an annual salary

• In a study of 300 top-level executives from 15 global companies 85-90% of leadership success was linked to social and emotional intelligence (Spencer, L.M. Jr.1997)

• In a multinational study of 515 senior executives EI scores were high in 74% of successful hires, but only high in 24% of failed hires (Eqon Zehnder International)

• Schools whose head teachers have high EI scores demonstrate the best national results of children (Ongoing Hay Group Research)

For leaders, having emotional intelligence is essential for success. After all, who is more likely to succeed – a leader who shouts at his team when he’s under stress, intentionally manipulates others for his own interest or a leader who stays in control, calmly assesses any situation and understand the motivators of his/her team and their potential to excell in their performance?

• 

According to Daniel Goleman, there are five key elements to it:

1. Self-awareness.
2. Self-regulation.
3. Motivation.
4. Empathy.
5. Relationship skills.

The more that you, as a leader, manage each of these areas, the higher your emotional intelligence. Before looking at each element in more detail and examine how you can grow as a leader, test your emotional intelligence with our Emotional Intelligence Test. By testing and knowing yourself better, it helps you to bucket your strengths and weaknesses. It is not that such test is perfect measure or predictor, but it facilitates self-reflection, which leads to better self-awareness.

1. Self-awareness

If you’re self-aware, you always know how you feel, and you know how your thoughts, emotions and your actions can affect the people around you. Being self-aware when you’re in a leadership position also means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses, and it means behaving with humility.

So, what can you do to improve your self-awareness?

Keep a journal – Journals help you improve your self-awareness. If you spend just a few minutes each day writing down your thoughts, this can move you to a higher degree of self-awareness.

Slow down – When you experience anger or other strong emotions, slow down to examine why. Remember, no matter what the situation, you can always choose how you react to it. Once you learn how to manage your emotions whether at home or at work, it will help you understand what your emotions are telling you and get to the root of their cause.  

2. Self-regulation

Self-regulation leaders who regulate themselves effectively rarely verbally attack others, make rushed or emotional decisions, stereotype people, or compromise their values. Self-regulation is all about staying in control. This element of emotional intelligence, according to Goleman, also covers a leader’s flexibility and commitment to personal accountability.

So, how can you improve your ability to self-regulate?

• Know your values – Do you have a clear idea of where you absolutely will not compromise? Do you know what values  are most important to you? Spend some time examining your “code of ethics.” If you know what’s most important to you, then you probably won’t have to think twice when you face a moral or ethical decision – you’ll make the right choice.
• Hold yourself accountable – If you tend to blame others when something goes wrong, stop. Make a commitment to admit to your mistakes and to face the consequences, whatever they are. You’ll probably sleep better at night, and you’ll quickly earn the respect of those around you.
• Practice being calm – The next time you’re in a challenging situation, be very aware of how you act. Do you relieve your stress by shouting at someone else? Practice deep-breathing exercises to calm yourself. Also, try to write down all of the negative things you want to say, and then rip it up and throw it away. Expressing these emotions on paper (and not showing them to anyone!) is better than speaking them aloud to your team. What’s more, this helps you challenge your reactions to ensure that they’re fair!

3. Motivation

Self-motivated leaders work consistently toward their goals, and they have extremely high standards for the quality of their work.

How can you improve your motivation?

• Re-examine why you’re doing your job – It’s easy to forget what you really love about your career. So, take some time to remember why you wanted this job. If you’re unhappy in your role and you’re struggling to remember why you wanted it, try the FIVE WHYS technique to find the root of the problem. Starting at the root often helps you look at your situation in a new way. And make sure that your goal statements are fresh and energizing.  
• Know where you stand – Determine how motivated you are to lead. There are several leadership motivation assessments out there which can help you see clearly how motivated you are in your leadership role. If you need to increase your motivation to lead, get help with understanding (if needed) what resources can help.
• Be hopeful and find something good – Motivated leaders are usually optimistic, no matter what problems they face. Adopting this mindset might take practice, but it’s well worth the effort. Every time you face a challenge, or even a failure, try to find at least one good thing about the situation. It might be something small, like a new contact, or something with long-term effects, like an important lesson learned. But there’s almost always something positive, if you look for it.

4. Empathy

For leaders, having empathy is critical to managing a successful team or organization. Leaders with empathy have the ability to put themselves in someone else’s situation. They help develop the people on their team, challenge others who are acting unfairly, give constructive feedback, and listen to those who need it. If you want to earn the respect and loyalty of your team, then show them you care by being empathic. How can you improve your empathy?

• Put yourself in someone else’s position – It’s easy to support your own point of view. After all, it’s yours! But take the time to look at situations from other people’s perspectives, whether directly from the perspective of your opponent or even as a neutral observer of the situation. Can you see the situation differently and consequently can you understand their behaviour?
• Pay attention to body language – Perhaps when you listen to someone, you cross your arms, move your feet back and forth, or bite your lip. This body language often tells others how you really feel about a situation, and the message you’re giving isn’t positive! Learning to read body language can be a real asset in a leadership role, because you’ll be better able to determine how someone truly feels. This gives you the opportunity to respond appropriately.
• Respond to feelings – You ask your account manager to work late – again. And although he agrees, you can hear the disappointment in his voice. So, respond by addressing his feelings. Tell him you appreciate his willingness to work extra hours, and that you’re just as frustrated about working late. If possible, figure out a way for future late nights to be less of an issue (for example, give him Monday mornings off).

5. Relationship Skills

Leaders who do well in the social skills element of emotional intelligence are great communicators. They’re just as open to hearing bad news as good news, and they’re expert at getting their team to support them and be excited about a new mission or project. They have the ability to connect with others in ways that help them feel understood and supported.

Leaders who have good social skills are also good at managing change and resolving conflicts diplomatically. They’re rarely satisfied with leaving things as they are, but they don’t sit back and make everyone else do the work: they set an example with their own behavior.

So, how can you build social/relationship skills?

• Learn conflict resolution – Leaders must know how to resolve conflicts between their team members, customers, or vendors. Learning conflict resolution skills is vital if you want to succeed.
• Improve your communication skills – How well do you communicate? Have you heard yourself talking publicly or seeing yourself on a video delivering a presentation?
• Learn how to praise others – As a leader, you can inspire the loyalty of your team simply by giving praise when it’s earned. Learning how to praise others is a fine art, but well worth the effort.

If you are interested in developing your emotional intelligence and ultimately improving your high performance leadership, do not hesitate to contact me